League of Legends news » Mad Scientist Ziggs Puts Lab Assistants on Sale

Hi summoners! Hexplosives are serious business in my lab and experimentation breeds innovation! Yee-haw! The best experiments prioritize maximum explosive efficiency above careful planning, so detonation directionality proves unpredictable in most cases. Kaboom! The Hexplosives Safety Administration (HSA) fails to realize that combustible entropic forces can only exist in periculous ecosystems (explosions first, questions later, right?) and have mandated that a lab assistant be present at my facility.

I must now endeavor to find a suitable protégé with the patience for my impatience and affection for homogenizing hexplosives. Mmmmyah! Unfortunately, all trial assistants thus far failed to effectively produce volatile mixtures and I like my assistants like I like my bombs: about to explode. So, I’m now offering them at a discount for your mad lab efforts. This sale’s the bomb! Bwahaha! Too bad they couldn’t make any.

• Corki isn’t the brightest bombardier in the hangar and parked his R.O.F.L. Copter in my spot. 487 RP
• Sejuani’s silly boar contaminates my percolating chemical combustibles and knocks over my expensive equipment. 487 RP
• Jarvan IV refuses to forego his armor for regulation laboratory safety gear and I’m far too busy to deal with this liability. 487 RP

• Subterranean Nautilus tries to execute delicate laboratory procedures using a mining drill. 487 RP
• Warmonger Sion believes axes trump bombs, but apparently he’s never seen my hexplosive range. 487 RP
• Ravager Nocturne keeps turning out the lights causing electronic malfunctions that cause unwelcome chemical stability. 260 RP

If you don’t take them, I’m planning on using them all for extended hexplosive testing. They’ll be available from August 14 until August 17. Then they’re gonna blow this joint. Hahaha!